Better

I am feeling better now (although at the moment my neighbor is doing some sort of aerobics above my head and it's nearly 2am). So my spirits are up and I have a decent schedule for the new teaching session which starts on Saturday. Tommorrow is the weekend, so I'll make a nice breakfast and I'll see if we can manage to get out of going to dinner with the fam and stay in our pj's half the day.

Positive?!

I was feeling positive about coming back until I ate something that made me sick on Saturday afternoon. It's now Wednesday and I'm not fully back to myself. At this moment, I am ready to go back to Canada, screw adventure!

On the far side of the moon

Spending the last 8 weeks in Canada allowed me to be a bit more objective about my experience here. I realize that one place is not all good or bad, but each has their own positives and negatives. This is pretty obvious, but it makes choosing one country very difficult. I was annoyed with things in Canada that I have no control over, just as I do here. Ignorant people and ignorant behaviour are everywhere unfortunately! I did enjoy being independent in Montreal, ordering my own food and having most people understand me either in English or French. Also being an average person, blending into the crowd was a relief. I find that friendships in Latakia are closer due to the survival aspect of needing support and people who speak English. I don’t have really close relationships with anyone my age; I wonder if that is my personality aspect? Also people in Canada are insanely busy, working and taking care of their families, which make it more difficult to maintain friendships. As much as I am having a hard time adjusting to the culture and the restrictions here, the idea of settling down and buying a place scares the heck out of me. I still crave something other than the 9-5 routine, hence I moved here. I now have to find something that is in between to satisfy my greedy demands.

Back in the free world

So, I'm back and now that the initial euphoria of being home is wearing off, I realize I have to deal with some deeper issues. Do I want to stay in Syria? Can I handle it? I am going to regret moving back to Canada when things get mundane? I just watched a movie last night with Amber and Zaak called "Cairo Time" with Patricia Clarkson and Alexander Siddig, it showed some of the cultural differences that I've been experiencing. One example is how the main character ( a blonde women in her 40's) walks around Cairo and gets stared at by men of all ages, as well as going in to an only men cafe. It's difficult for me to express my challenges in Syria, so it was interesting to see it expressed in a film. A bit of humor was when Patricia goes for a boat ride on the nile, and Alexander asks why she looks uncomfortable and she tells him that she doesn't swim. He then says "doesn't everyone have a swimming pool in their back yard" and she says "don't you have 4 wives". Stereotypes go both ways...

Baby shower

Yesterday evening I went to a baby shower and forgot to ask about the dress code. I was shopping with a friend right before, I was wearing dressy boots, jeans and a nice top but when I got to the apartment, all the other ladies were wearing dresses,jewels, nylons and heels and hair done... I almost went back home to change, but sucked it up and decided to remember this lesson, when in doubt always overdress!

A home

I think if we had found a house right away, it would have made us feel I part of this community more. We saw another apartment last night, I hated it with every fiber of my body! Really strange layout with a long corridor to get to the kitchen, low ceilings and small poky bedrooms. They tried to sell the sea view, but when you're on the balcony you have to crane your neck to the left (where the neighbors' balcony is) and the rest of the view is other buildings. I had no idea it would be so difficult to find something decent! What's the point of living so close to the Mediterranean when you can barely see it!?

Confusion

Now that I'm leaving in two weeks, I'm trying to wrap my head around how I feel about this place. People are going to ask me, and I have to come up with something short and sweet... Something positive or negative will happen and I'll feel justified in either writing this place off or endorsing it, but I can't seem to find a happy medium. Maybe being out of the country will give me some perspective...